There is a Hack to Developing Valuable Skills
It’s All About Habits and Triggers
I am a mediocre writer (at best). That sucks because I enjoy writing. I believe it’s a tremendously valuable skill, and I want to move from mediocre writing to above average. My stretch goal is to learn to write things that people I do not know want to read.
A lot has been written on how to improve your writing. Stephen King even wrote a book literally called “On Writing.” I read it. It’s excellent. The internet is flush with successful writers sharing their secrets and offering courses to teach you those secrets. Their articles have awesome names like “You Can Easily Avoid Being Just Another Boring Writer.” I have always been a pretty avid reader, so I read a ton of those guides. They’re great. Tim Denning is incredibly talented. I still have some of my favorite articles saved in a document full of links. I guess I think I will go back and reread them? Like when I am on the precipice of becoming a decent writer or something?
Knowing all the secrets is like knowing none of the secrets.
Anyway, after reading all of that great advice, I am still a lousy writer. I even start sentences with a “but.” But at least I am self-aware!! About a year ago I realized I needed to try something different.
I must have consumed 10,000 different tips and tricks to become a great writer only to find myself paralyzed trying to make sure I used them all. The result was poor. My writing got worse.
I turned to a buddy who is a good writer. He’s a thoughtful and funny storyteller. Probably most important, his writing is useful. So I asked him to give me a shortcut.
He had a bunch of good advice in line with what I already knew, but the thing he pounded above all else was simply “Don’t wait, get started today and post something interesting and valuable every single day.” He told me all of his favorite writers said the same thing.
Dang, it! That’s the opposite of a shortcut. In fact, it sounds like a lot of work. Do I even have anything interesting to share?! Unlikely. I bet I go weeks without saying something truly interesting or valuable.
My friend says the best way for me to improve my writing is to share it publicly every single day. That sounds absolutely horrifying and more than a little bit impossible. How about I go to Twitter and just retweet genuinely interesting or funny people instead? That sounds way easier.
I left our conversation completely discouraged. I thought, “I don’t know if I can do anything every single day, let alone do something I suck at publicly.” He had challenged me directly, and I didn’t like it. My imposter syndrome went into overdrive. It screamed “NOOOO!!!!!!! Everyone will realize that you are not all that smart or interesting!”
Start by proving your imposter syndrome wrong
I went and looked at my daily routine to see if I could find some evidence I might be capable of answering his challenge. I was encouraged to find a few daily habits not actually required for survival. (Stuff like eating or having a cup of coffee doesn’t count).
- I brush my teeth every single day. It requires some energy and discipline, but none of my teeth have fallen out yet. Success!
- I tell my kids to “Be a leader and encourage someone” every single day. Maybe they will someday! Time will tell.
I found a couple of meatier examples too:
- I work out every single day. I have since I was 14. It was dictated in high school athletics, vanity kept me going, and now it is a critical component of my mental and physical well-being. Someone once asked me for advice on how to stay fit. I don’t have a secret, so I gave the same advice my buddy gave me: Just start and then do it every single day.
- This year I started getting up a little earlier to read, think, and journal. I have talked about it for years but never done it. When COVID-19 shut down the office I was out of excuses, so I started. I wasn’t very good at it, but I forced myself to keep doing it. Now it’s a habit. I enjoy the heck out of my quiet time and I think I am getting better at it.
To create a habit you need a trigger. Choose wisely.
“When users start to automatically cue their next behavior, the new habit becomes part of their everyday routine.”
― Nir Eyal, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products
James Clear sums it up nicely in his article “The 5 Triggers That Make New Habits Stick” and he includes an awesomely simple diagram:
He calls triggers cues, but whatever, same thing. I realized most of my failed attempts at creating habits happen when I try to create a weekly or monthly habit. There is a reason I keep failing at dating my wife once a week. It takes too much thinking. There is too much complexity involved. It’s impossible to engineer the triggers required to do it automatically. Daily is easier.
It actually takes less discipline to do something daily. It doesn’t require looking at the calendar or math. The trigger I use is literally “Oh, it’s a new day and I am still alive. I should brush my teeth.” It’s pretty simple.
Why do I need to write every day?
Getting better at activities worth doing takes time and effort. There is no short cut. When you are trying to improve a complex skill like writing time is measured in repetitions. Effort is measured by the focus applied to those repetitions. The easiest way to implement time and effort is by developing a daily habit. Doing it every single day.
Habits that involve performing a complex skill start to look a lot like discipline.
To get better at using LinkedIn I need to do it every single day. To get better at loving my wife I need to practice every single day. It’s all about focused repetitions. It’s not a shortcut, but it is a simple and effective hack.
Time is finite. You can’t do all the things all of the time, but you can do some of the things all of the time. So pick the most important things. I have the capacity to add a few daily habits to my teeth brushing and working out. I want to become a better writer and build a presence on LinkedIn. I also want to be a better husband and make sure my wife knows I love her. Those are my two things right now, so I am doing them every single day.
